


Cost

by sartiebodyshots



Category: Falling Skies
Genre: Angst, Episode: s05e04, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-20
Updated: 2015-07-20
Packaged: 2018-04-10 06:52:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4381679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sartiebodyshots/pseuds/sartiebodyshots
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tom tries comforting Cochise after the events of 5x04.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cost

“Cochise…” Tom finds him standing and staring at the clearing where the Volm ship had landed.  It’s gone now.  He touches Cochise’s back gently.  “How do you feel?”

“I am fully healed,” Cochise says, staring into the distance.  “My father’s kidney is functioning at peak efficiency and my lifespan has increased drastically.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” Tom says, “but that’s not what I meant.  Your father died.  You never said much, but I know you cared a lot about him.”

“I killed him,” Cochise says, and it sounds like he’s trying out the words.  “I caused the death of my father by convincing him to embrace the human ideology of love.”

“You can’t blame yourself,” Tom says, shaking his head and standing in front of Cochise.  He grabs his head and pulls so they’re facing each other.  It’s a rough gesture, but he needs Cochise to look at him.  His eyes still aren’t looking at him, but it’s close.  “This isn’t your fault, Cochise.”

“Where else can I lay the blame?” Cochise asks, finally looking at him.  His eyes lack the warmth that Tom is so accustomed to seeing.  It’s surprisingly painful.  “Should I blame your doctor for not monitoring his condition more closely?  For bringing the possibility to my father’s attention in the first place?  Should I blame your son as well?  Should I blame you for teaching me about human values of love and self-sacrifice more than anyone else on this planet has?”

“Would blaming me make you feel better?” Tom asks quietly.

“It would not,” Cochise says.  He inhales deeply and looks away from Tom.  “I know you are not truly at fault.  The fault is with me.”

“It’s not,” Tom says.  “I know it must be hard to lose your father, but-“

“If you had died giving your offspring a kidney, I would console them by reminding them of your love for them.  I would inform them that you would gladly sacrifice your life to preserve theirs,” Cochise says quietly.  “In fact, if human and Volm kidney transplants were a possibility and you had offered yourself and died, I would think the same thing to console myself, even though losing you would be an immense loss.”

“You’d be right,” Tom whispers.  His hands slide down to rest on Cochise’s shoulders.  “About all of it.”

“This is not true of my father,” Cochise says.  “He agreed to the transplant because he believed he would survive and because no other officer wishes to fight alongside aliens in this way.  Particularly humans.  However, losing him is a great loss and prolonging my life is not a great gain.”

“I’d disagree,” Tom says.

“You are not Volm.  Just as losing my brother was a greater loss to the Volm than my own death would be, the loss of my father was a greater loss than my death.  That I was the cause of his death only exacerbates this,” Cochise says.  “I do not expect you to understand.”

“You can’t put a price on your own life like that,” Tom says, appalled.

“You cannot, but I have been living with the knowledge of my own inferiority for my entire life, so I can.  It is nothing personal.  The Volm value longevity and physical fitness,” Cochise says.  “It is necessary due to this war.”

“Cochise-“

“When my brother died, it was an immense loss.  To my father, especially.  My brother was the only suitable offspring he produced, and he died before he could produce offspring of his own,” Cochise says, closing his eyes.  “Now, my father has no chance of continuing his line.  Our family will die.  We will be rendered one more destroyed line.”

Tom strokes his cheek.  He doesn’t pretend to understand everything about the Volm, but Tom can tell that this is destroying Cochise inside.  And not in a useful way.  “I’m sorry.”

“Your offspring are of the utmost importance to me, but they are not a valid extension of my familial line in the eyes of the Volm,” Cochise says.  “I am responsible for the death of the last member of my family.  You cannot understand what this means to a Volm.”

Tom nods a little.  “I know I can’t understand.  I don’t always understand you and your people, but I want to help you.”

“I need some time alone,” Cochise says, opening his eyes.  “I know that will not be easy for you, but I require time.  We do not talk about these matters.”

“Are you sure?” Tom asks.

Cochise cups his cheeks between both hands and looks at him intensely, sending a shiver down Tom’s spine.  He leans forward and then presses a kiss to Tom’s forehead.  “I am certain.”

“If you do need to talk or someone to hold you, you come find me,” Tom says.  “I’ll be around.”

“I will,” Cochise assures him.  “Thank you.”

Tom feels utterly useless as he walks away from Cochise, leaving him alone in the clearing.  He can only hope that he hasn’t accidentally made this worse for him. 

* * *

 

Cochise eventually turns away from the field, feeling somewhat empty.  He has decided to further discuss his feelings with Tom.  As Cochise has lost someone whom he admires greatly, perhaps talking will be helpful if he talks of concepts that Tom understands.  Even if talking itself does not make him feel better, Cochise has enjoyed the tenderness that Tom has displayed today.  Feeling Tom’s tenderness will improve his mood.

It is impossible to find Tom in the midst of the chaos, but Cochise locates Tom’s friend, Colonel Weaver.

“Where is Tom?” Cochise asks.

Colonel Weaver does not look at him, occupied with securing supplies to a vehicle.  “He and Hal went ahead to do some scouting.”

“Tom left?” Cochise asks, confused.  Tom had assured him that he would remain.

“Yeah, wanted to get a good look at what was coming,” Weaver says.  “You need something?”

“I do not require anything,” Cochise says, backing away. 

“Glad you’re feeling better,” Weaver says, slapping him on his arm in a most startling way.

“Thank you, Colonel Weaver,” Cochise says before departing. 

He returns to the field because he does not wish to return to their room.  Tom deserting him in his time of need should not surprise him, in light of his recent behavior. 

Yet, it is still a devastating occurrence.  Perhaps it is acceptable to cry again.


End file.
